An open letter to "moderate" voters

Dear "moderate" voter,

The worst nightmare of those of us who actually pay attention has come true. Nancy Pelosi will be Speaker of the House. The former grand wizard of the Ku Klux Klan will likely be the President Pro Tempore of the Senate (so you don't know what that means- who cares?- it's your patriotic duty to be an ignorant voter).

See, some of us really have a problem with people who pay no attention to the political process until the minute they wake up on election day and decide they have a constitutional duty to cancel out the informed votes of others, so I just want to remind you of some of the warnings we gave you and what you can expect in the next two years:

• You were warned that Democrats would fight to pull troops out of Iraq. Don't blame us. You were too stupid to listen.
• You were warned that Democrats couldn't wait to start impeachment hearings against Pres. Bush. Don't blame us. You were too stupid to listen.
• You were warned that Democrats would fight for a minimum wage hike, which would drive unemployment up, putting those who had jobs on the government dole Don't blame us. You were too stupid to listen.
• You were warned that Democrats would not only divide America's citizens based on class ("Well, they have more, therefore they should pay more taxes"), but that after they fooled you with that line, you would see your own tax cuts vanish. Don't blame us. You were too stupid to listen.
• You were warned that Democrats would introduce a disastrous socialist health care system which, like all other entitlement programs, would fail at its stated goal of providing free health care for everyone, but would succeed at it's intended goal of getting more people reliant on the government, so the Democrats could scare people into voting for them ("If you vote for a Republican, we're all going to die"). Don't blame us. You were too stupid to listen.
• You were warned that in Pennsylvania you were sending an empty suit to the Senate. Don't blame us when you get tired of him. You were too stupid to listen.
• You were warned about the corruption of Sen. Menendez. Don't blame us. You were too stupid to listen.
• You were warned that if the Democrats got away with their personal attacks on Michael Steele, they'd be more inclined to attack independent African-Americans in the future. Don't blame us. You were too stupid to listen.
• Lastly, you were warned that al-Qaeda is a threat to American security that should be dealt with. Don't blame us when bin Laden sees this election as a surrender. You were too stupid to listen.

Are we bitter about losing this election? You bet.

Are we going to let it get us down about the next election? Hell no.

Are we going to win in 2008? Yes, and it won't even be close.

So what do we want from you, the ignorant voter? Do we want your vote? No. We want you to stop voting. You are too damned stupid to be trusted with the future of this Republic. Rip up your voter registration and leave the voting to those who pay attention.

Love,

Informed America